why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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