I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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