one two three fourrrrnication!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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