I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
