you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Someone came in the potted fern
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
