She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
