I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
