He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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