id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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