So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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