it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
