You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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