I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I've blown a few things in my day
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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