also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
