My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
