Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
only if we run a train.
done.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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