Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
