i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
