You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
