Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I did not marry a roomba.
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