You're my little dorito
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
