I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
well you can't waste a boner
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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