im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
