id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The police scanner is talking about you again....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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