The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
