god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
