He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
