Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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