Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
third nipple confirmed
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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