sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
