Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
