dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
