His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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