she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
