what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
