Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She even gives head with a lisp.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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