How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
