I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
