i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
