Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
