I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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