You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
