i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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