Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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