32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
