accomplished twins. life is a go
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
