whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
