OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
