i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
