I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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