I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
